Just yesterday I was a young new mom carrying babies and preschoolers with me everywhere I went. I remember a time not so long ago that I thought there would never be a day when I no longer carried a diaper bag. I so clearly recall how my rear end would get tired from rocking Hannah so long every single day. I rocked and rocked and rocked some more. My days were scheduled around naps and feedings. My nights were frequently interrupted by a crying baby who needed to be held so he or she could sleep without ear pain. I worked at a preschool and was surrounded by other young moms who were almost always sleep deprived and exhausted. I went to the pediatrician more often than to the mall. New clothing purchases had to pass the nursing mom test. Play dates were an excuse for me to talk to adults...I needed adult contact! Taking kids to the indoor playground at Chic-fil-a was a legitimate outing--nothing further needed. Shopping for the perfect stroller, carseat, diaper bag never ended--there must be something better out there, right? All meals were eaten cold, not because I preferred it that way, but because the smell of food was the signal for a baby to cry.
Now, my children are old enough to get their own food when they are hungry. I certainly don't carry them around anywhere and couldn't lift two of the three if I wanted to. My arms are often empty. My rear end does not get tired because I rarely sit down unless I am in the van being the mommy taxi. I'm back to shopping for purses which do not have as many pockets as diaper bags which makes them totally less fun. I sleep through the night--except when I wake up to pee. I used to brag that I never get up to go to the bathroom while sleeping. Note to self: never brag! My days are now scheduled around soccer, NHS, Beta Club, and Chorus. Chic-fil-a is no longer an outing, but simply a way to fill their tummies. My food is often still cold since I am usually driving when the food is picked up. New clothes must pass the "does this make me look pregnant?" test. A kid climbing in my bed at night is rare and a great treat for me! I work at a Middle School--talk about irony! I am surrounded by moms who are also living in the middle.
I miss all the yesterdays, but I sure do enjoy the todays. I love hearing my kids describe their days. Hearing about their friends is such fun. I love that I can have philosophical and moral discussions with them--who needs adults anymore? They are sympathetic and eager to spread joy to other people. Sometimes I think they don't need me as much anymore, but then night comes and just before they go to bed, they all climb in my bed and get as close as they possibly can. I close my eyes as I smell and kiss the tops of their heads and for a few moments my arms are full again and l am reminded that life is good.
